


This is the last time

by ilostmyguntoday



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: M/M, Skam France - Freeform, Skam Season 3, elu - Freeform, skam france season 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 19:25:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17873354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilostmyguntoday/pseuds/ilostmyguntoday
Summary: Eliott is reliving the dream he just had about his alternate selves and etc.





	This is the last time

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this quickly, so hopefully it makes sense to you. It made me sad as i wrote it :( 
> 
> WARNING: small mention of suicide and blood

Elliot’s dreams had always been strange. Sometimes good, and sometimes awful. But when Elliot awoke - at 10:17am, Thursday the 21st of February – he couldn’t pinpoint what kind of dream it was that he had had. He remembered it fairly well. He remembered holding Lucas close, he remembered Lucas tucked into his arms as he slept on top of him, he remembered feeling something so affectionate and intimate towards the boy; something that bordered on love. The smell of his hair was intoxicating, the breath on his neck left him in shivers, and the simple, steady rhythm of his heartbeat against his own was enough to remind Elliot that he too was alive and real. 

Then, just like that, he had disappeared from his arms, and Elliot had been left grasping empty space, aware just how lonely he felt without Lucas beside him. There was no warmth anymore. He felt cold and frightened. He felt lightyears away from any form of life, as if he had sunk to the bottom of the ocean. 

“Lucas?” he had cried out in his dream, “Lucas, come back to me.”

But his words were lost as soon as they came out of his mouth. Suddenly he was sinking through his bed, slipping down into a silvery mist that swirled around him as he fell. He was falling faster and faster, spiralling down into a fast-approaching darkness. An abyss of some sort. Into the void. Elliot had shut his eyes, not quite in fear but not quite in happiness either. He let the darkness envelop him. 

The next thing he knew, he was opening his eyes to a piercing light. The void had disappeared, and he was now lying on the floor of the foyer, drenched in the sunlight that flooded through the windows. It was almost too bright there. Elliot winced at the intrusion and looked quickly around him. His eyes were instantly met with Lucas, his back to Elliot, painstakingly drawing something on to the mural, his body tense in concentration. 

“Lucas! Salut!” he had said, unable to contain the joy and relief out of his voice from seeing the boy again. Lucas didn’t turn around. He continued painting whatever tiny picture he was working on. Elliot was confused. 

“Lucas?”

“He can’t hear you” said another voice. Elliot turned to see himself looking right back at him. There was another Elliot, sitting upright on the table with his legs swinging nonchalantly over the edge. This Elliot was identical to himself, except for the deep gash in the side of his head. 

“I’m Elliot #3457” the boy said, and Elliot eyed the dark beads of blood that were running down his face and dripping slowly on to his white T-shirt

“What happened to you?” Elliot asked, and his other-self laughed

“I’m the version of you that jumped into the void”

Elliot stared at him.

“Are you really that shocked?” Elliot 3457 asked, “How many times have you thought about doing it?” 

Elliot dropped his gaze to the floor and stayed silent.

“You don’t need to tell me for me to know. I’m you. I know how many times you thought about doing it. I’m just the version of you that followed through is all” Elliot 3457 said, winking and laughing cruelly. 

“You’re not me.” Elliot said sharply, “You’re nothing like me.” 

The other Elliot ignored him and stood up abruptly, darkening the side of his face with blood even more. 

“Take one last look at him” the other Elliot said, “your time is running out”. 

With that, the other Elliot disappeared from sight, leaving him alone with Lucas for what felt like maybe the last time. He walked over to the smaller boy, curious to see what he was painting. Peeking over his shoulder, he saw that Lucas was painting a tiny hedgehog burrowing under a wall, clawing its way to a Raccoon that was sitting alone on the other side. Elliot watched him in a daze, wondering why he felt such a sudden urge to cry. 

Digging into his pocket, Lucas produced a red marker pen. Elliot watched him intently as he brought the marker to the wall and filled in the little heart that hovered above the two animals until it glowed a deep red. Lucas looked happily at his work for a few moments, and Elliot wished he could tell him what he thought. 

“What do you think?” Lucas asked, suddenly turning around, wide blue eyes staring into Elliot’s. Elliot beamed back at him, moving closer to the smaller boy’s face, unsure when the chance would ever come again,  
“I love it” he whispered, before closing the gap between his and Lucas’ lips. 

That was when Elliot awoke. His arms instinctively patted the space besides him, but there was no one there. The silence in his bedroom was crushing, and Elliot felt his heart sink as he suddenly remembered yesterday.  
“I don’t need crazy people in my life” 

Elliot sighed deeply and let tears prick at his eyes. He rolled on to his side and burrowed himself back into his duvet, trying to go back to the dreams where he still had Lucas.


End file.
